Wooooooo Chileeee! Your girl went and got herself nominated for a saucy wee blogging award. Look at me goooo! #Famous #WatchMeGo #BloggingQueen #NoLongerABlogVirgin

Only pullin’ your leg, one of my good friend’s nominated me, and she knows she would’ve got her windows egged if she didn’t. But I KNOW you were falling for that and thought I was the world’s best blogger.

All in due course, young padawan.

Shout out to my sis Ellie over at elliemaiblogs.co.uk for this nomination, ya wee cutie. You may click on her and have a wee browse, or your windows will be gettin’ egged instead!

Ellie has given me her own wee questionnaire which I’ll post now so you can see which ones have piping hot tea spillages.

What are you currently watching/ reading?

At the moment, I’m having a super bad reading block to the point where I’m starting to forget how to read and spell my own name. I’m just finishing up a few series’ on Netflix at the minute like The Good Place. Oh my lord, I just love Chidi he’s such a wee weirdo that you can’t help but fall in love with. I can already tell I’m going to weep like a small child when I finish it.

Do you prefer tea or coffee?

Oh mamacita, I would sacrifice both of my sister’s for a cuppa coffee. It doesn’t even have to be a wee fancy starbucks one, a wee sprinkle of cheap coffee, some hot water and I am all yours.

Why did you start your blog?

Honestly, I started this bad boy when I was still on furlough. I never really knew what to do or what narrative to go with etc. I work with two people who have their own blogs and it’s tailored to their personality and interests so that really spurred me on. It’s pretty obvious, I still have no idea what the bloody heck I’m doing – but I’m really enjoying it.

What’s your favourite thing about Blogging?

My favourite thing about blogging is probably being able to be my weird ass self and have no judgements thrown at me. I could write absolutely anything here like Dog’s feet smell like popcorn, You can milk a camel and I have a secret mole on my toe and nobody is going to bat an eyelid. I enjoy zoning out and just smacking the keyboard with my paws and people telling me I’ve done a great job. (lol). A huge factor in blogging for me is that I absolutely love the blogging and writing community. It’s like a big bunch of really nice people saying really nice things all the time. Protect them at all costs.

Do you schedule blogging time or just do it when you feel like it?

Honestly, I only really do it when I take the fancy but I know I really should schedule time. I’m still finding my feet and don’t want to dedicate my whole life to writing a load of crap and sicken myself with blogging. I like just doing it on my own terms. I’m enjoying it.

What’s your favourite hobby?

Besides my favourite hobbies being sleeping and eating, I love listening to music and watching crime documentaries. I grew up with my mum watching them so I find it very interesting. There’s some wee weird sickos out there, please be careful y’all.

What’s your dream job?

Becoming the world’s most famous and prolific female director.

Considering I forget how to turn a camera on and have the imagination of a pea, it’ll be a miracle for that happenin’. My dream job is something that keeps challenging me every day, something that pays well and something that is flexible. I’m a needy wee lassie who needs her family!

Do you own any pets, or do you want any?

My parents have two springer spaniels, named Bentley and Indie, which are basically very hairy siblings. I did have a wee dog named Buddy who passed away in July 2019. Thon furry faced wee bugger still has my entire heart. I would absolutely love to have about ninety dogs but there’s no way in hell I could deal with the heartache. It will be a long ass time before I ever get another wee doggo. I’ve put in a wee pic of my Buddy AKA Baby Budzina below. He’ll always be my wee hairy snuggle muffin.

Do you prefer books or films?

I prefer books, which is super strange considering I spent three years of my life to studying the Art of film. There’s just something more intimate about reading a book as opposed to watching a film? Ew, that sounds kinda weird. Well, here’s hoping you know what I mean?

What’s your favourite Social Media website and why?

Twitter. Without a doubt. It always has the news and gossip first, it’s so funny, it’s so open, it’s so current and it’s an amazing way to laugh at Donald Trump and his stupid tweets. Tweet tweet mother clucker.

So yeah, you’re welcome for all those lil nuggets of information. Do with it what you will.

I’m still new to the community, so I have just tweeted out in hopes a few peeps were happy to do it!

So here are my wee questions:

Andddd I’m over the moon to nominate these awesome bloggers:

Thanks again to Ellie, for this nomination. Now go forth and be blessed x

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been staring at my screen waiting for something to magically write itself for about half an hour and It’s clearly never gonna happen no matter how many times our Dorothy clicks her heels. Why the hell have I already hit a block with blogging? I’ve written like a post and a half?!

I think I’m struggling and finding it hard because I’m still trying to find my niche. Like, why would people want to read my blog? There’s absolutely millions of amazing blogs out there, really beautiful and professional ones that are totally tailored to one topic. Book reviews, poetry, travel, lifestyle, fashion etc.

Then there’s me. You’d think I was a chicken because all I’m doing is winging it. (yeoo)

I just planned for my wee blog to be about whatever came into my lil noggin and apparently that’s not a lot. (lol)

But something struck me a few days ago and it made me think about what I went through and where I am today. I thought I would share it, as a comfort to anybody experiencing the same thing and an inside glimpse at my thoughts during that time. Now that I am older, I wish I opened up and spoke more about my emotions and thoughts, but ya girl was struggling and pushed everybody away.

To cut a long story short, when I was 15, I went through a horrible experience and it left me with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. I went to the doctors and begged them for help because I felt like a prisoner in my own head. I described it as a grey fog over everything I felt and I couldn’t see colours anymore. I remember being out with my close friends and staring at the brightest thing I could find. It was something on the ceiling and I know it was bright orange, but to me it was bland and unstimulating. I knew I needed help but because I was a child and under 18 years of age, the Doctor really couldn’t help and didn’t really try to.

I remember hating myself and thinking the world would be better off without me – but I didn’t want to harm myself so WTF was I thinking and feeling? I couldn’t process my emotions and I couldn’t communicate them properly.

Everything felt hopeless.

I started saving motivational quotes on my phone like “One day it’ll get better” and “Don’t let the darkness dim your light” etc. All those lil cheesy ones to make me hopeful and scare the thought of sleeping forever out of my mind. They did nothing for me but it reminded me that I wanted to get better. I hadn’t realised they were saved to my Google Photos and a throwback memory, that showed up a few days ago, brought me back to this time. I felt so sad thinking of who I used to be and the girl who never thought she would have a future. I took great joy in deleting them and closing that chapter. It gave me closure and it reminds me of how strong I have always been, despite feeling so weak for the longest time. If only I knew back then.

Fast forward 9 years and I’ve got a degree, I live in Manchester with my amazing boyfriend and I have a 9-5 job that suits me perfectly. Every day is a new experience, a new challenge and a new memory. I never would have thought I could make it this far and it’s down to the love and support of my family and friends. They were the light at the end of my tunnel and I wish I could go back in time to 15 year old me and say it will get better and everything will be okay.

Keep your head high. x

Workin’ Nine to Five

Guess what unlucky sod got plucked from furlough and has been working this past week? ME.

Honestly, I was excited to be back working so I’d be busy during the day, my brain is kept active and my routine would be back to normal.

One week later and I weep for the days I was on furlough. That sounds absolutely mental too because I legit haven’t worked a day since like, March. Ugh.

It’s just so darn difficult being a lazy girl with high hopes and dreams.

It’s such a challenge to get yourself back to working every day after being off for over two months. I’m like an actual slug. Every day, without fail, I go into my bed and sleep on my lunch break. I suppose it’s not so bad working from home. It would be worse trying to adjust to sitting in hour long traffic on my way to work and the same on the way back. Yikes.

Awk, I just have a wee touch of cabin fever, that’s all. It’s become a personality trait at this point.

Being back at work, and being exhausted after a regular non stressful workday, has meant that my wee exercise routine I had goin’ on has taken a huge nosedive. I’m gonna vow to push myself and get back into it during my second week of working.

In other news, I have been off cigarettes for 35 days! Im really happy with myself and I’ve really started to notice changes in myself. My skin isn’t as dry, I don’t get cravings, the thought of smoking just sounds disgusting to me, my lungs are kinda decent and I’m just feeling alot better in general.

I just spend my days trying to be positive and it seems to be working.

I swear on my hair I’ll make more of an effort to pay more attention to this site x

Furlough Tingz

I’d be lying if I said I remembered the date when I got put on furlough. I do remember being really upset and thinking “wowee, I’m obviously not that essential if they don’t want me working despite keeping three fellow colleagues working.” About a week after that, my entire team was put on furlough and I felt a lot better. (lol)

I was so B O R E D.

Like, I genuinely had high hopes for myself. I planned to keep myself super productive by learning a foreign language, becoming the world’s best coder, reading every book that has ever existed and watching every film that was on Netflix.

Aye good one, like any of that was going to happen. A+ for effort though! Shoot for the stars, our kid!

For the first few weeks of Furlough, all I did was eat, sleep, smoke like a train and play the playstation. I started getting so fed up and anxious about not knowing what to do or how to change my habits. I know it’s so bloody easy to say “JuSt GeT uP EarLy!! Do SoMe yoGA!! ReAd a BoOk!! EAt HeAltHy!! EXerCiSe aNd bE pRodUcTiVe!!” Like Okay, Susan. I’m absolutely over the moon you have your life in order but you need to shut your fat trap cos I’m DEPRESSED af here.

Honestly though, when you’re in a rut it is absolutely the most difficult thing to do. How the hell do you go from working 9-5 every day with your brain stimulated and active to being stuck in your house 24/7 with your wee brain cells slowly going into hibernation one by one? It definitely had a negative impact on my mental health and I needed to fix it ASAP.

After a few weeks of crawling the walls and starting World War III with my boyfriend, I just decided to change small things in my life. For example, I noticed whilst I wasn’t working, I was less stressed and ended up smoking less and less cigarettes. I know it’s a really disgusting habit, and a bloody expensive one too, so I ordered a wee pink vape and decided I’d stop smoking those wee cancer sticks. They’re stinkin’ anyway and this was thee perfect time to quit. I have this wee vape but I barely even use it – but it tastes like a wee blue slushie and that’s soooooo much better than a big dirty ratten feg. I haven’t smoked in over three weeks now and everytime I smell cigarette smoke I wanna projectile vomit. The absolute audacity of ME.

Another wee thing I started doing was exercising. Truth be told, I’m like the laziest person in the land and I managed to peel my hiney off the sofa and get myself into running. When I say running, I mean like jogging for a good 30 seconds then walking again because it’s a goddamn long and PAINFUL process. I swear I’ll be like Mo Farah in a few weeks. Awk no but actually, everytime I go for a run, I notice my stamina and muscles getting stronger and this spurs me on. I spend the majority of the time accepting that I might be dying but I push through it because Rho didn’t raise a quitter. Weight loss or wanting to be “skinny” hasn’t been a motivation for me. I mean it would definitely be nice but I just want to improve my health. I want to become fit and healthy. Slowly but surely, I can feel my body changing and it’s like a wee shot of serotonin to the brain. It also occupies my mind and reminds me to appreciate everything I got goin’ on.

But anyway, these are my wee thoughts. Do what ya will with them. Nothing weird though please.

Slán x

Well what’s the craic?

If you’re reading this, thanks for coming onto my wee blog.

Honestly, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doin’ but I’m making it work as best as I can. This is my first blog, hence everything being all over the joint.

I guess I should probably explain who the hell I am, eh? My name is Gemma, I’m a long tall sally and I’m from Belfast. I currently live in Manchester and I’m trying to make something out of myself.

I know a lot of people like to make their blog about something important like reviews, recipes, lifestyle tips or documenting their lives. I wish I was super organised like that. Alas, I am not – but I’ll try my best to give ye a wee giggle when I can. I’ll post some Photography ‘cos that craic always gets a positive response and we’ll see what happens, eh?

Fingers and toes crossed for this wee bad boy!

PS, Stay safe during this Corona Craic too ladies and gents. Hank u x